Until recently the main purpose of marriage was to perpetuate the name of the clan, its roots and its ancestral worship. It should, therefore, be as early and as prolific as possible and the birth of a child is always good news. Family happiness effect was measured in the number of children they had.
Talks between families who want to combine are almost always entrusted to matchmakers. If they take good turn, they are eight cyclic exchange indicating the hour, day, month and year of birth of the young man and the girl. If the review was unfavorable Horoscope is that the fate of the future couple was nice to be husband and wife. We then performed three essential rites: the marriage, betrothal and marriage.
For the marriage, the family of the bridegroom sends a small delegation (consisting of one parent and some members of the clan) who visits the family of the bride. The meeting between the two families is the opportunity to know, check the consent of each and to develop terms of two rites.
For engagement, another delegation of the family of the bridegroom is sent to the family of the bride, bringing offerings for the worship of the ancestors of the latter. Indeed, we consider that it is necessary to require not only the consent of the parents of the bride, but also that these dead ancestors. The offerings vary from one region to another, but must necessarily include some of betel, areca, a little rice wine and incense sticks.
Marriage is a private double ceremony before the altar of the ancestors of the family of the bride and that of the groom.
In the morning, the groom’s mother and a few close relatives would walk to the bride’s house with a gift of betel to ask permission to receive the bride at her house. This ceremony was often done in the times of arranged marriages to insure that the bride had not fled from the home and that the wedding was still taking place.In the procession to receive the bride, the groom and his family often carry decorated lacquer boxes covered in red cloth to represent his wealth and which include various gifts for the bride’s family. There are either 6 or 8 boxes, but never 7 because it is bad luck.
In the procession to receive the bride, the groom and his family often carry decorated lacquer boxes covered in red cloth to represent his wealth and which include various gifts for the bride’s family. There are either 6 or 8 boxes, but never 7 because it is bad luck.
After paying their respects to their ancestors, the bride and groom will serve tea to their parents who will then give them advice regarding marriage and family. During the candle ceremony, the bride and groom’s families union is celebrated and the mother in law of the bride will open the boxes filled with jewelry and dress her new daughter in law in the jewelry.
Finally, the groom officially asks for permission to take his new bride home and they make their way back to his house. During the banquet there is usually a 7-10 course meal and the bride and groom make their rounds to each table to express their gratitude and collect their gifts.
During this time, the bride usually wears three outfits, one modern western wedding gown, another western dress, and finally a traditional ao dai.
The day after the wedding takes place the "visit the second day" (LAI MAT) in the bride's parents, which provides an opportunity for the groom to pay tribute to those who gave birth to his wife.
Nowadays, cohabitation becomes the watchword of the young and free consent a condition of marriage imposed by the legislature; however, the family still plays an important role in marriage.
Traditional rites and family described above indeed continue to be the main steps of a socially acceptable marriage and divorce. The desired and established through centuries by Confucianism family structure cannot disappear, despite overnight modernism and growing individualism.
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